Everything Feels Irish Until the Night Comes
by Jane Torres-Cooper
Summary: Callie is in love with George and ready to start a life with him but when tradegy strikes her world tumbles into darkness. How will she survive? Please R&R
1. Chapter 1

There he was again. Starring into space. He looked so cute and I was so happy we were married. My pager went off. "Shoot." I said glancing down at it.

"O'Malley. Come with me." I said. George smiled and followed me. I led him back to the crash victim. I whisked the victim to surgery. George scrubbed in with me. Afterwards he caught me.

"Hey, Callie. Why don't we have a special dinner and have some alone time?" He asked. I smiled.

"Okay, sure." I grinned. Doctor Montgomery came over to me.

"So, how are you and O'Malley?" She asked.

"Good. Really good. Perfect actually." I said glancing over the surgery board. She smiled.

"I'm happy for you." She said.

"Is it weird that all I can think about is having a kid?" I asked. I couldn't get the idea out of my head.

"No, I can't get it out of my head either." She said. "At least you can have kids." She said. I sighed.

"Look Addison, you won't hate me if I get pregnant will you?" I asked. She laughed.

"Gosh no. I'd be so happy for you guys." She said. I smiled.

"Thanks. You really are a good friend." I said. She smiled.

"Well, I have a few women to check on. I'll see you later." She said and disappeared. I grinned. George ran by me on his way to get something. I grinned and watched him run off. I caught him checking charts by himself. I pulled him into an empty room.

"George, I can't help this feeling, I want to raise a kid with you so bad. I can't stop thinking about it, I know it's stupid and I want more than anything to forget these feelings and go on with my job, but they are there and I cannot shake them." I said. George looked overwhelmed.

"Callie, I have a patient with an axe in his head. Can I?" He asked. I nodded.

"Oh yeah, yeah. Go save his life." I said. George nodded and left the room. I leaned up against a wall and sank to the floor. I had just completely and totally crossed a line. I was such an idiot. Izzie came into my room in the middle of me crying. Izzie sat down next to me.

"Hey, what's wrong?" She asked.

"George, I just told him I wanted kids." I told her. Izzie was in this amazing nothing but love relationship with her husband Denny. She was pregnant. Exactly what I wanted. She had it all.

"So?" She asked.

"He looked so totally confused and uncomfortable." I said. Izzie rubbed my back.

"Hey, he'll come around." She encouraged. I smiled.

"Thanks Iz." I said.

"I was told to come find you. You didn't answer your page, we got a car wreck with a lot of breaks." She told me. I got up and dried my eyes. I smiled.

"Okay, let's do this." I said. Izzie smiled and led me to the pit. It was in complete chaos.I rushed to assist. I had twelve surgeries that afternoon. I crawled my butt to the on call room and laid down. I stared at the ceiling. The door opened but I didn't look to see who it was. Someone grabbed my hand and I looked down. It was George.

"I'm willing to try, right now if you want to." He said. I smiled.

"Really?" I asked. George nodded. We went at it. Afterwards I composed myself and went to Christina's wedding to be the bridesmaid she'd asked me to be. We got ready to go out. We had everything.

"Got your vows?" Meredith asked Christina. She nodded. She looked at her hand.

"Wait why are they gone?" She said freaking out. I glanced around. Christina continued to freak out. Soon Burke walked in. It was so weird but he left. Then Meredith went and told the crowd. It was so weird. I went home in a daze. I had just been named chief resident. Bailey would hate me for the rest of my life. George was waiting with my special dinner. I smiled and sat down across from him.

"How was your day?" He asked.

"Wonderful." I said digging in. He smiled and started to eat.

"So you got chief resident. That is amazing." He said. I nodded.

"Bailey is going to hate me forever. Did you pass?" I asked.

"No, I'll re-do my internship next year. No big deal." He said. I nodded.

"You're right. No big deal." I agreed. George smiled.

"I love you." He said. I smiled and reached for his hand. He took mine. That night was amazing. He was so into it. I loved when George went on those crazy spells and the sex was amazing.


	2. Chapter 2

That night was amazing. We had the next seventeen days off so we went to Florida. George took me to Disney World, the parks were great and every night we had a little fun. Naked. Well except the five nights we went to Pleasure Island and Downtown Disney. Seventeen days in Orlando, ten at Disney World, seven at Universal and Sea World. I don't think we could have been happier. Then we returned to work. Dreaded work. Izzie had miscarried while I was gone. She didn't take it to well. I felt really bad for her. My first day as chief resident was terrible. Bailey was out to kill me. The next day I felt like absolute crap. I felt so sick. I stepped into the elevator with George. He looked at me.

"You okay? You look terrible." George said.

"I think it's the Flu." I said. George nodded skeptically. I smiled. Addison got onto the elevator at the last second.

"Callie, you look terrible, are you feeling okay?" She asked. I held back my nausea.

"Yeah, it's just the flu." I said. The elevator stopped and the doors opened. George got out. Addison turned to me.

"Okay, you are so not alright. You sure it is just the flu?" She asked. I shrugged.

"I don't know, we've been trying for eighteen days, do you think?" I asked. Addison shrugged.

"Why don't you have me check?" She asked. I nodded.

"Sure," I said. The elevator opened and I followed Addison out. She ran an ultrasound.

"You aren't pregnant." Addison said. I nodded.

"Okay." I said. I got up and slid off the bed. A pain hit me in the stomach. I bent over. Addison ran over to me.

"Why don't you lay down, and tell me your symptoms." She said. I nodded and laid down. Addison felt along my stomach.

"Nausea, pain, sore, sweaty, dizzy." I said listing them off. Addison nodded.

"I'm going to run some test. Am I allowed to tell people?" She asked. I nodded.

"It's nothing big." I said. Addison nodded and left. I relaxed and stared up at the ceiling. Addison came back in and ran test. George came in. He held my hand and kissed my cheek.

"How do you feel?" George asked.

"Crappy." I said. George got paged and had to leave. Addison came back in and checked to see if I was running a fever.

"You have a fever. We're still waiting on test results." She said. Then she left. I sighed and grimaced at another cramp. Addison came in with a team of people.

"You've got a stomach ulcer. We'll put you on antibiotic fluids and check on you frequently. I suddenly threw up, blood. Addison gasped and grabbed a bed pan. I threw up into it a few times. Addison paged Bailey and they whisked me off to surgery. When I woke up my stomach hurt like crazy. George was there.

"George, I am okay?" I asked. George smiled.

"You're fine. They had to repair a rip in you stomach and they fixed the ulcer. You're as good as new. Minus the big scar and the pain you will have for a few days." George said. I still felt sick. Addison came in with my chart.

"Everything looks good and your surgery went great. We expect a complete and full recovery." She came and checked my abdomen. "How are you feeling?" She asked.

"Same." I said. Addison checked my temperature.

"No fever." She said. I nodded. "O'Malley, visiting hours have ended." Addison said. George sprang up.

"I love you Callie." He said slipping out the door. I looked out the window at the pouring rain. Addison sat down on my bed.

"Experiencing any pain?" She asked.

"Tons." I said.

"We can order more morphine." Addison said getting up.

"That would be fantastic." I said. Addison smiled and left. Olivia came in and gave me Morphine, then she left. I was all alone in a hospital room. With my stomach killing me and the urge to barf. Which I couldn't do. I didn't want my stomach to tear again. I left a week later. Then returned to work the next day. It felt good to be back breaking bones. That came out all wrong. I don't mean it like that. I walked into the hospital and went right to a surgery on a guys back, and let me tell you it felt great to be back. Then I had to go and reset a guys arm. I was in the zone until about surgery five. I started feeling dizzy. The room went back and forth. I started sweating.

"Suction." I said. An intern gave me suction. The room rocked back and forth again. I felt like I couldn't breathe.

"Dr. Torres?" The intern asked. I blinked trying to get the room to stop moving.

"Dr. Torres?" Bailey asked walking in the room. Then I remember passing out. I woke up as they were lifting me onto a stretcher. Bailey was barking orders to interns. The room was still moving.

"Callie, Callie can you hear me?" Bailey asked. I blinked. There was two of her. Which one did I look at? Things started fading.

"We're loosing her!" Lexie yelled. Then blackness. I woke up in another hospital room.

"What happened this time?" I asked Addison.

"You were internally bleeding. Where we stitched your stomach it tore a little bit." Addison said. I sighed.

"Great." I said.

"We fixed it." Addison said.

"How long do I have to stay here this time?" I asked.

"Just a few days." Addison said. I stared up at the ceiling. This was just my luck. George ran in.

"Oh my God, thank God you're awake. I don't know what I would do without you." George said. Addison smiled, then she left. I laid my head down on the pillow. A pain hit my stomach.

"Ouch!" I said. George went on alert.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing." I said. George nodded.

"If you say so, just don't go down again." George said taking my hand. I smiled and squeezed his hand. He kissed me on the lips.

"I love you." I said. I got out two days later. I decided to just do one surgery a day.


	3. Chapter 3

After a month George and I started to try for kids again. A week later I was seriously feeling sick again. I told Addison.

"What kind of sick?" Addison asked.

"Like I'm going to throw up." I said. Addison nodded. I leaned over and threw up. Addison jumped back.

"Oh well, not like you are, you are." She joked. I sighed and laid back down. Addison took some blood and ran tests. Then she ran an ultrasound.

"How is it?" I asked.

"You are pregnant." Addison said happily. I smiled. George will be so excited. I threw up again. This sickness crap was driving me nuts. I left the exam room and went to my first surgery of the day. George intercepted me.

"Hey can I scrub in on the spinal reconstructive surgery?" He asked.

"Not right now. Hey George, I got to talk to you." I said stopping in my tracks.

"What is it?" George asked.

"I'm pregnant." I said. George picked me up and kissed me. I smiled.

"That's awesome, now go do that surgery." George said. I laughed.

"Okay." I said and walked the rest of the way to my operating room. It went smoothly and I had nothing else to do until four more hours. So I went into the on call room and crashed on a bed. George woke me up for my surgery.

"Dr. O'Malley, it's time." George said.

"George, I don't feel good. Can you reschedule it?" I asked. George nodded.

"Yeah, yeah, are you sure you are okay?" George asked. I nodded.

"Morning sickness, that's all." I said. George nodded.

"Okay. If you're sure." He said and left. Addison came in twenty minutes later.

"George told me you weren't feeling okay. Everything good?" She asked.

"Yeah, George is just over reacting." I said. Addison nodded and left. I paged her two minutes later.

"Callie, you okay?" She asked.

"How far am I?" I asked.

"Three weeks, and don't scare me like that again." She warned. I laughed.

"Okay." I said. I laid back down and fell asleep. I slept until the morning. George ran into me at the coffee machine.

"Hey where were you all night?" He asked. I poured a cup of coffee.

"I fell asleep in the on call room." I said taking a sip. George smiled.

"Okay." He said. I smiled.

Five months later.

I rolled out of bed and George was right there to hand me glass of fruit smoothie. I guzzled it.

"You have gotten so much better at making those." I said. George laughed.

"And you keep getting prettier and prettier." George said. I smiled and kissed him.

"I'm getting huger and huger. Not prettier." I said. George smiled. Addison ran a check up on my little boy.

"He looks great." She said. I smiled.

"Thanks Addison, you're great." I said. She smiled. Izzie came in.

"Hey Callie, how is it going?" Izzie asked.

"Good." I said pulling my scrub top over my stomach. Izzie nodded.

"Addison I have to talk to you." Izzie said.

"I'll just leave." I said slipping out the door. Addison grinned. I walked briskly over to my surgery. It went great. I saved the kid's spine. George took me home that night. Chief had been nice enough to no make me be on call while I was pregnant. He made me a big dinner.

"Mrs. O'Malley, may I just say you look beautiful tonight." He said. I smiled.

"Oh George. Just stop it." I said. George grinned.

"It's true." He said.

Month Later

I walked into the hospital hand in hand with George. I smiled and kissed him on the lips. We walked into the elevator. Addison winked at me.

"Don't forget to come see me for the month six update." She whispered. I nodded.

"I will." I whispered back. I left George at the Intern locker room and went to the Resident locker room. I changed with a few stares which I rolled off and them went to work. I checked the surgery board I had three surgeries today. One in an hour I went to rounds. They were presenting on my surgery when I walked in.

"Dr. Torres will be doing your surgery today." Dr. Bailey said. I waved to the little boy who's knee I was doing surgery on. He smiled back at me. We got him under and I was halfway through his knee repair when I pain hit me in the stomach. I grabbed my stomach.

"Ouch, don't kick now." I moaned.

"Dr. Torres, are you okay?" Alex asked.

"Yes Alex, drill." I ordered. Alex nodded and handed me the drill.

"Do you need anything?" Meredith asked.

"A slush, watermelon would be fantastic." I said. Meredith ran off. I finished the boy up ten minutes later. Then they took him away. Alex ran off to answer a page. I sat down in the scrub in room. Meredith came in and handed me my slush. I went to town eating it. I was half done when Alex came in.

"We've got an emergency femur repair." Alex said. I sighed I was exhausted.

"Can…" I began.

"No, he's busy." I said. I chugged my slush.

"Alright let's do this." I said scrubbing back in. I finished the repair and sat down outside. I could have sworn I was having contractions.

"Grey, page Addison Sheppard." I said. Meredith nodded.


	4. Chapter 4

Meredith paged Addison and two minutes later Addison was there.

"Callie's what's wrong?" She asked.

"I think, I think…" I said suddenly not being able to function. I was scared stiff and George, George was, wait where was George?

"Grey did you page O'Malley?" Addison asked. Meredith nodded.

"Well where the heck is he?" I asked finally being able to think clearly.

"I don't know Dr. Torres he should be here." Meredith said.

"Callie you never told me what's wrong." Addison said.

"I think I'm having contractions." I said. Addison nodded.

"I need a wheelchair over here!" Addison yelled. Meredith got one and helped me into it. Addison checked me out and determined I had in fact gone into pre term labor and George still wasn't there. Meredith and Izzie were monitoring me closely. Like I needed to people telling me that I was having another contraction. I knew that already! Mark came in.

"Hey Cal, how you feeling?" He asked with genuine concern.

"I don't know Mark, how do you think I feel?" I snapped. He stepped back and put his hands in the air defenselessly.

"Chillax Cal. Just a question." He murmered.

"Sorry. I'm sorry Mark. It's you know the hormones." I said. Mark smiled and came closer.

"It's okay Kiddo." I understand. He said. I rolled my eyes.

"You understand? When did you become a woman?" I joked. Mark smiled.

"See, there's the Callie I know." He said. I grinned but I didn't last long because I contraction hit. Mark's pager went off. He ran out. I sighed. I wish I was doing a surgery right now. Only Meredith came in to check on me this time.

"Where's Dr. Stevens?" I asked.

"Everyone got paged. Some John Doe was hit by a bus. He's in real bad shape." She said. I nodded.

"So I'm missing an awesome surgery?" I asked. She nodded.

"Me and Iz are taking you in shifts. So we don't miss anything." Meredith explained. I nodded.

"You guys never cease to amaze me." I said. Meredith smiled. Addison came in.

"How is everything looking Dr. Grey?" She asked.

"Uh, good. She's about 4cm's dilated." Meredith said. Addison nodded.

"Okay good. Go take Dr. Steven's spot." Addison said. Meredith nodded and ran out of the room handing Addison the chart as she passed her. Addison flipped it open.

"Thanks." I said.

"For what?" Addison asked.

"Sticking around to do this." I said. Addison had told Richard she was leaving after I gave birth to my son, and going to LA. Addison smiled.

"Like I was going to let someone I didn't trust have your life and your babies life in their hands. Hell no." Addison said. I smiled.

"Good. I want only the best." I said. Addison winked.

"Alright Cal, get some sleep while you can." Addison said and walked out. How could I get sleep without George there to hold my hand? There was no way I would be getting any sleep. Two hours passed and my labor was unbearable. Addison was worried about me because I was determined to wait until George was there.

"Callie you have to push." Addison said. Izzie stood in the corner with her arms crossed. Izzie was one month pregnant with Alex's baby.

"I won't do this without George." I said firmly.

"Alright then we'll do an emergency c-section, because if we don't get him out soon, you are going to loose him. Do you understand me?" Addison said sternly. I sighed.

"Fine." I muttered. Addison smiled triumphantly, she had won for now.

"Okay, Izzie, get a team in here. Ready Callie?" Addison asked and Izzie ran out. I nodded and bit my lip.

"Sure." I muttered.

"Okay. On the count of three I need you to push. Okay?" She asked. I nodded. After about five minutes he was born. He cried for a few seconds and then grew silent. Izzie and Addison rushed him away and I couldn't help but lay there and cry. I was all alone. Where the hell was George? I know he had went home to tell his mom he'd joined the Army but he should have dropped everything and come to me. Sometimes he could be such a douche. Meredith came in my room. She noticed Addison wasn't there and immediately ran off down the hall. Ten minutes later Addison came in.

"Hey, how is he?" I asked.

"He's great." She said.

"Then what's wrong?" I asked. It felt as though a cloud of despair surrounded Addison.

"Callie, George is dead." Addison said. I stared at her in disbelief.

"What?" I asked.

"He was the John Doe. They did everything the could, but he's brain dead. Chief wants to know if he's a donor." Addison said. I couldn't speak, I couldn't breathe. It was like the world had stopped. My George, my George was gone. He died on the day our boy was born. My George was gone. He was gone and I was never going to feel his arms around me again. Never feel his breath on my neck. Never feel like warmness of his touch. My world started to go black and I was gasping for air.

"Callie! Callie calm down." Addison yelled pulling an oxygen mask on me. My world faded into nothing. It faded into blackness. Maybe I had died? I wanted to die, then I could see George. I had the weirdest dream, it was so perfect that I didn't want it to end. George was standing next to me in the ER holding our boy. He smiled up at me.

"He's beautiful Cal." He said to me. I smiled back at George then at the boy in his arms. Then the scene cut out and everything was black again. Like I'd fallen into a bottomless pit, and there was nothing.


	5. Chapter 5

I woke up in an empty hospital room. My nose itched and when I went up to scratch it I found my path blocked my an oxygen tube. I sighed and stared up at the ceiling. George was gone and he had left me to raise a baby boy all on my own. I hadn't cried yet, which was a good thing I guess. I was alone. Alone. Then the tears came in streams. I pulled my legs in close and held myself as I cried for what seemed like hours. My life was over. My love was gone. I had nothing. I had no one to hold me. I felt someone's arms wrap around me. I looked back to see who it was. Mark smiled sadly at me. I huddled close to him.

"Everything's going to be okay Cal. I got you." Mark whispered in my ear. I closed my eyes. His strong arms made me feel safe and warm. I breathed in deeply. The stupid tube hindered me from smelling his scent. I fell asleep again. When I woke up Mark was gone. I sighed and sat up in bed. I put my head in my hands and cried some more. Someone entered the room. I looked up. Addison was standing in the doorway.

"Hey Cal. How do you feel?" She asked.

"Like my world just fell apart." I said. Addison sighed.

"I'm so sorry Cal." She said. I shrugged.

"George's dead Addison there is nothing I can do about it. How is he?" I asked.

"He's doing great." Addison said.

"Any health problems?" I asked. Addison shook her head.

"He had trouble breathing at first but he's good now." She said.

"How big is he?" I asked.

"Four lbs 2 oz." Addison told me.

"Wow, he's really small." I mused.

"I've seen a lot smaller." Addison said.

"When can I see him?" I asked.

"Well, you can see him now if you want to." Addison said. I nodded.

"I want to name him too." I said. Addison smiled.

"Just let me go get a wheelchair." She said. I nodded. This boy was all I had left of George and I just wanted to hold some part of him. Addison came back a few minutes later with a wheelchair and helped me into it. Addison pushed me over to the nursery. He was in a room all by himself. He had oxygen on and that was it. He was wrapped in a blue blanket and a cute little blue hat was on his head. Addison took me into the room. He was sleeping. I smiled and reached for his hand. He squeezed my finger. I started to cry.

"Callie?" Addison asked.

"He's so beautiful." I breathed. Addison grinned.

"What go you want to name him?" She asked.

"Lucas George Torres." I said. Addison nodded.

"I like it." Addison said. I smiled. George may have been gone, but he'd left me the greatest gift he could ever give. Lucas opened his eyes. They we're just like George's. I smiled through my tears. Addison took me back to my room and unhooked my oxygen. I curled up and tried to clear my head of the longings for George's touch. I drifted into the welcoming arms of sleep. _I dreamed George was there sitting in a chair next to my hospital bed holding my hand while I slept. In his other arm was Lucas. Addison came in._

"_George, come on you have to go back to now, you cant stay here. She misses you enough as it is. You can't keep coming back." She said. George let go of my hand and looked down at Lucas._

"_He's so beautiful and she looks so sad. I wish I could stay forever." George told Addison. Addison smiled._

"_I know George, but appearing to her like this is making it harder on her." She said. George sighed and stood up. He handed Lucas to Addison and came back to my bed. He kissed my cheek and smiled. Then he disappeared. Mark appeared next to Addison in the doorway. Addison nodded to him and left with Lucas. Mark sat down in the chair George had been in. George re appeared. Mark nodded to him._

"_George." He said shortly._

"_Look Mark, I didn't want to leave her. But I had to save the girl." George said. Mark nodded._

"_I know that. You had to be a hero for someone else." Mark said sharply._

"_What do you mean?" George asked._

"_You had to be a hero for someone else when all she needed was you to be a hero for her." Mark told him. George sighed._

"_Listen Mark, I know you love her, and I want you to take care of her for me." George said. Mark nodded._

"_I planned on it." Mark said. George smiled._

"_See Mark, I'm okay with leaving because I know that she has all of you to take care of her." George told Mark. Mark nodded._

"_It still sucks O'Malley. If only you knew how much she was hurting." Mark said sadly._

"_I do know, and it hurts me too. Do you honestly think I wanted to leave her to raise Lucas all alone?" George asked getting a little mad._

"_George?" Meredith asked entering the room. George smiled._

"_Hey Mer." He said._

"_You aren't real are you?" Meredith asked. George shook his head._

"_No, I'm not Mer." He said sadly._

"_Can I touch you?" She asked. George shrugged._

"_I guess so." He said. Meredith gave him a hug._

"_George, why did you have to leave?" Meredith asked. Tears flowed out of her eyes._

"_Mer. Listen, I need you to take care of Callie. Help her with Lucas and getting over me. Make sure she moves on. She's beautiful and sweet and the greatest person ever, she deserves to find someone else." George said. Meredith nodded. She pulled away and whipped her eyes._

"_Okay." She agreed. George smiled and disappeared. _I woke up and started to cry. Mark came in. He took my hand and stroked my cheek.

"Hey, calm down Cal. Everything is going to work out." Mark said. I pulled him in closer and cried into his shirt.


	6. Chapter 6

I fell asleep in Mark's arms. When I woke up he was still holding me and stroking my hair. I looked up at him.

"Morning Cal. You feeling okay?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yeah, I think so." I said. Addison walked in.

"Hey Cal, you can go home today. But Lucas needs to stay here for a few days." She said. I nodded. Mark let go of me. He helped me pack up my things and Addison unhooked me. I stood up and walked over to the wheelchair. I sat down in it and Mark wheeled out. He brought me home and helped me to bed.

"Cal. Don't pull anything stupid okay? Stay home tomorrow." Mark warned.

"Mark." I said. He rolled his eyes.

"Yes Cal?" He asked.

"Stay with me?" I asked. Something about Mark holding me made George being gone not so hard. Mark smiled.

"Last time." He said and climbed into the bed next to me. His breath fell on to my shoulders in heat waves. The hairs on my neck stood up. I smiled and cuddled closer to him. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

_Two years had passed. Lucas was so big now. He showed me his legos._

"_Momma!" He said excitedly. I smiled and sat down on the floor next to him._

"_Hey bud. Whatcha gonna build today?" I asked._

"_Twain." He said and started to build. Mark came into the living room with two coffee mugs. He handed me one._

"_Thanks babe." I said. He grinned and sat down next to me on the floor. He put his hand on my stomach._

"_How's baby number two?" He asked me. I sighed._

"_I'm sure it is fine, but I'm not. This is great coffee, but I swear by the time we walk into the hospital I'll have thrown it back up." I said. Mark smiled and sipped his coffee._

"_It's all worth it right?" He asked. I smiled._

"_Right." I said. Lucas looked up at us with big blue eyes. My heart melted. He had his eyes. I pushed the thought away and looked at my small belly bump. Mark was the love of my life. I loved him more than I had ever loved George. Mark leaned in and kissed me on the lips. I smiled and continued the kiss._

"_Gross!" Lucas shouted. Mark pulled away laughing. I smiled and ruffled Lucas's hair._

"_Awesome train bud." Mark said and stood up. He helped me up too. I kissed him one last time before I went into the bathroom. A picture hung on the wall between the shower and the toilet. It was a group picture of me, Meredith, Mark, Derek, George, Christina, Owen, Izzie, and Alex. I smiled at George._

"_12 weeks George, isn't that something? I hope it's a girl." I said and went about getting ready._

I woke up still in Mark's arms. I smiled and breathed in his scent. I was in love with my dream. Mark shifted and sat up. I groaned.

"Torres, I gotta go." He said.

"No Mark, can't you just lay here with me?" I asked.

"No Cal. I'm gonna check on Lucas, don't you want that?" He asked. I sighed.

"No, I want to see him. I want to bring him home. I want it to be two years from now, and I want you to be with me and I want to have another kid. And oh my God, I just said all that out loud." I said and put my head in my hands.

"What?" Was all Mark could manage.

"Oh my God." I repeated. I looked up at Mark. He was grinning.

"You love me too?" He asked. I nodded. Mark's grin grew into a full out smile. He wrapped his arms around me in an embrace.

"I love you Mark Sloan." I whispered. Mark smiled.

"I love you too Callie Torres. I've been waiting for you." He whispered. I smiled and ran my hand along his stubble. We locked eyes and leaned in for a kiss. Our lips touched and the world around me disappeared. I closed my eyes and let the emotion of the kiss wash over me in warm waves. He pulled away and stood up. I sighed. Duty called. Mark had to go save lives.

"Will you be okay alone?" He asked. I smiled.

"Yeah Mark. Go save someone's life." I said. He grinned and walked out of the room. I smiled and put my face into the sheets. I breathed in George's smell and felt my heart sink into despair. Mark was amazing and fantastic. But George was sweet and timid. I looked up to the sky and knew George was there looking down on me. I smiled and thought of all the times we had had together. I thought back to when I had told him I was pregnant. The look of joy was all over his face. I shook the thought away. He couldn't be dead. George couldn't be dead. Yesterday he was here now he's gone. There is no way. None. He couldn't be gone. No! He wasn't gone. But of course I knew he was I just didn't want to believe it. He never even got to hold Lucas. Tears came, I couldn't stop them. It hurt, it hurt like someone was stabbing me in the stomach. But there was nothing stabbing me. I climbed out of bed. Maybe if I tried I could get the pain to stop. I went down to the kitchen and grabbed a beer out of the fridge. I popped it open and started to drink it. One didn't help. I pulled out another. Nothing worked. Not even when I was buzzed. I stared off into the distance. The pain was still there ever present ever burning. Mark would never fill the void. George was gone. George was my soul mate not Mark. My fantasy of Mark was exactly that, a fantasy. I grabbed another beer and walked groggily to the couch. I flopped down and flicked on the TV. I flipped through channel after channel and finally stopped on me and George's favorite show. I watched it for a while until I had finished my beer. It still hurt. Worse than it had before. I sighed and went back into our room. I opened his closet and pulled on one of his t-shirts. I smiled and breathed in his smell. The pain hurt more now. I went back into the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of scotch. I uncapped it and tipped it back. I finished the entire bottle of scotch. I didn't feel anything now, nothing at all. I flopped down on the couch and curled up with a blanket. I watched our show over and over and cried endless tears, but I couldn't feel anymore. The alcohol had taken care of that. In fact the world kept rocking back and forth which mad watching our show difficult. I suddenly felt sick. I crawled into the bathroom and threw up. I put my head down on the cold seat and closed my eyes. Another wave hit and I pulled my hair back just in time to hurl again. The pain was back now, and it was worse. George was gone. I hurled again and again. I knew I would be dehydrated soon, but I didn't care, if I got dehydrated enough I'd pass out and maybe I'd get to see George again. I sighed as I emptied the last bit of food and liquid in my body into the toilet. I flushed it and laid down on the floor. The cold tile felt good on my skin. I only laid there a minute before I began to dry heave. I looked up at the clock. It was three in the afternoon. George wouldn't be by to check on me for a few more hours. I dry heaved again. Someone knocked on the door. I felt to awful to get up.

"Callie!" I heard Meredith call. I said nothing. The door to the bathroom busted open. I didn't look up. I knew it was Meredith. She grabbed my hair and rubbed my back. "Oh Callie, why are you doing this to your self?" She asked.

"It hurts so bad Grey." I whispered. "I would give anything not to feel the pain and emptiness." I said. Meredith nodded.

"I should call Mark." Meredith said pulling out her phone. I shook my head.

"No don't." I said. Meredith nodded.

"Fine. Can you get up?" She asked. I tried. Everything was sideways, I felt the urge to throw up again, but I had nothing left to loose. I started to fall. "Callie!" Meredith screamed and then I blacked.


	7. Learning to Feel

"_What happened?" Mark demanded._

"_I went to check on her and she was throwing up and then she tried to get up and she fainted." Meredith said nervously. Mark glanced into my hospital room, I was laying there unconscious in a hospital bed. An IV slowly pumped liquid into my dehydrated body._

"_What did Bailey say was wrong?" Mark asked._

"_She was dehydrated." Meredith said._

"_She drank her pain away didn't she?" Mark asked. Meredith nodded._

"_I think so." She said. Mark slammed his fist into the counter._

"_I shouldn't have left her alone. She swore she'd be okay. Dangit! Why do I have to be in love with her." He said. Meredith sighed._

"_I think the worst part of this, is not the fact that George is gone, but the fact that we have to watch Callie go through this. Just think that poor kid. She can't even get through a day without getting drunk. How is she going to be able to handle Lucas and grieving at the same time?" Meredith asked. Mark sighed._

"_I'm going to have to help her. I love her and this is just one of those things you gotta do. I have to be her shoulder." Mark decided. Christina walked up._

"_She still hasn't woken up?" She asked. Mark shook his head._

"_Why the hell did Bambi do this to her? He should have just let the girl die." Christina mumbled._

"_Do I detect sympathy Yang?" Alex asked appearing next to Christina. Christina rolled her eyes._

"_Alex, why don't you just go back to the baby squad with Addison." Christina said. Mark glared._

"_Can you guys take your childish bantering somewhere else!" He yelled. Christina rolled her eyes and left. Alex followed yelling about how Christina shouldn't talk about Addison like that. _

I woke up thinking it had been a dream. But there was Meredith and Mark talking worriedly and Christina and Alex further down the hall yelling at each other. My eyes drifted around the room. The alcohol had worn off and I felt all the pain of George being gone again. Mark came in.

"Hey Cal. Welcome back." He said quietly. I nodded.

"Mark." I said. He nodded. Meredith came in.

"I'm so glad your okay. You really scared me Callie." She said. I nodded.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted it to stop hurting, and the alcohol helped." I said. Mark sighed.

"Callie, things will get better I swear, but doing this to yourself is going to make things so much worse. It's bad for you, and it's bad for Lucas." Mark said. I sighed.

"I miss him." I said and started to cry. Mark climbed into bed with me and held me. I cried into his lab coat. Mark just laid there and held me. I didn't know how to live any longer. I went home a few days later. Lucas came home with me. It was easier when Lucas was there. He filled the emptiness that George had left. But it never lasted. A month passed and then another. Time seemed endless. I acted like I was fine. But inside I still felt empty and alone. Lucas was cute, but he looked so much like George sometimes it was hard to look at him. One night I decided it was time to clean out his stuff. I opened his closet and found myself overwhelmed. He had a small trunk that was locked. I found the key and opened it. George had a journal. I flipped it open to a random page.

_February 14__th_

_Callie told me today that she's pregnant. As I write this she is sleeping and I swear she looks so beautiful. I can just imagine how incredible it will feel when I get to hold me son or daughter. I can see us now years from now with three kids. Laughing around the Christmas tree. Wouldn't it be grand? God, just think. Growing old with the woman of my dreams. I can't wait. Can you believe it? Bambi is going to be a dad. Bambi is married to the most beautiful girl in the world. Bambi. I'd like to see Alex call me that now! Well, I should rest. Big day of surgeries tomorrow. Goodnight._

_-George_

I turned to another page. I was crying now.

_April 23__rd_

_Wow, Callie is so beautiful. You just can't even put words to it. I never knew how beautiful Callie could be until I saw her pregnant. I tried to make her a fruit smoothie this morning. It was a disaster. She drank it though. I know she lied when she told me it was good. You could tell by the way her nose scrunched up when she tasted it that she hated it. It was so cute. I should go. Callie got sick today at work and I think she is waking up. I hope she is feeling better. I hate it when she is sick. _

_-__George._

I flipped to the last page.

October 22nd

I don't know why I have done it, but I have joined the Army. I plan to tell Callie tonight at a fancy diner. First I must tell Hunt. After all he inspired me to go into the Military. I wonder how this well go over with Callie. She'll probably stress. Which I don't want her to do. It's not good for our son. We got another ultrasound yesterday. He's so beautiful, I swear he looks like me. I watch Callie like a hawk now, I'm worried. She over works herself, I'm afraid she's going to go into preterm labor. That would definitely not be good. Maybe I should wait until after our son is born, but if I do that she'll be pissed. Plus I'm deploying in three months. Right after Christmas. Can you believe it! Our son will be here for Christmas! Callie's waking up so I should go. Wish me luck!

-George

I closed the journal and cried.

"Why did you have to go!" I sobbed. I felt nothing. I felt empty. I couldn't go on like this. I had to feel. I pulled out George's pocket knife and put a gash into my upper arm. Pain rippled through my arm. I gasped. Holy crap now that was feeling. I let the blood pour down my arm. It felt good. Someone knocked on the door. I hastily wrapped my arm and went to answer it. Mark smiled at me.

"Hey Cal. Oh my God, what happened?" He asked and pulled the strip of cloth off of my wound. Blood flowed freely. "Torres what the hell is this?" He asked.

"I was cleaning out George's stuff and I broke a frame." I lied.

"Cal, you should get stitches." Mark said.

"Mark it's fine. What are you doing here anyway?" I asked and held pressure to the cut.

"I came to see if you and Lucas wanted to go have a nice dinner." Mark said. I shook my head.

"No, I gotta finish cleaning out George's stuff anyway." I said. Mark nodded.

"Okay, well I'll see you at work tomorrow. Please be careful." Mark said and left. I closed the door and let go of my wound. The bleeding had slowed. I went back into the closet and hid George's journal and knife. The rest, besides his Princeton shirt I threw out on the curb. I pulled on his Princeton shirt and dressed my wound then I went into Lucas's room. Lucas was fast asleep. I lifted him out of his crib and rocked him. He remained asleep. I smiled and kissed his forehead. I knew how to feel again.


	8. Chapter 8

I woke up the next day and went to work. I hadn't really lived since George left. I went through the motions, but I felt like a ghost. Nothing felt real. I would sneak into an on call room right after lunch everyday and pull out George's knife and cut open that same spot over and over. No one knew, it was perfect and every Friday I left Lucas with Mark and went and got wasted. Mark scolded me every time but he never really said no when I asked him to take care of Lucas. He just went with it. But he didn't know that I cut myself. Yeah, I became a cutter, I never thought I would, but it was the only way I felt these days. Today one cut wasn't enough. It was George's birthday and a week before Labor day. I cut again. Nothing. I saw blood, but I felt nothing. I cut again. Why the heck wasn't it working! I wanted to feel. I just wanted to feel. Blood covered my scrubs and I was a little dizzy, but I wasn't feeling. I cut deep into my shoulder. Pain came this time and blood poured. I fell to the floor and laid there. My eyes closed and I saw George frowning at me.

"_Why?" He asked. _

"_I needed to feel. I don't feel without you." I said. _

"_Callie, this is not how you feel. This is not the answer. Just think about Lucas. Think about how much he needs you." George encouraged. _

"_George, why? Why did you leave me?" I sobbed. George's face turned from mad to sad. _

"_Callie, I told you I had to. She needed me to save her." He said._

"_I needed you George! I needed you! I need you! I was giving birth and you were off running around telling people that you joined the Army and didn't even bother to tell your wife! You left me all alone when I really needed you George! Now look at what you've done to me! You've made my life suck, I cant feel, I cant eat, I cant sleep!" I yelled. George looked down at his feet._

"_Callie. I'm so sorry. But you have to move on. Let yourself fall in love again. Raise Lucas, be happy." George said and vanished. _

Lexie's P.

I needed to take a nap. I was exhausted and really missing George. It was his birthday and he wasn't here. Callie was extra distant today as well. I opened the on call room door and saw Callie crumpled on the floor bleeding.

"Oh my God. Callie! Can someone help me over here?" I yelled lifting her head onto my lap. I held pressure to a particularly nasty cut in her right shoulder. A small Swiss army knife laid open and bloody on the floor. Callie had been cutting herself. Cristina fell to her knees next to me.

"Dangit Callie!" She said angrily. Bailey came over.

"Okay, we need a gurney, some blood, and an oxygen mask. Let's go!" Bailey yelled.

"She's A positive!" I yelled remembering from when she'd been unconscious a few months ago. Cristina and an Intern ran around getting stuff. We lifted Callie onto a gurney and set up the blood and IV. Then we brought her up to a room and stopped the bleeding wounds. Then we stitched her up and prayed she hadn't lost to much blood or been unconscious and without oxygen to her brain too long. Mark didn't know yet, he was at home with Lucas.

"Grey, someone needs to call Sloan." Bailey said. I nodded. This was not going to be a fun phone call. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Mark's number.

"Hello?" Mark asked.

"Hey Mark. It's me Lexie." I said.

"Oh hey Lex! What's up, I'm just watching Lucas." Mark said happily.

"Mark. Mark it's Callie." I began.

"What happened?" He asked frantically.

"She cut herself and almost bled out. We don't know if she's going to wake up considering we don't know how long she was unconscious. So we aren't sure how long her brain was without oxygen but it doesn't look good." I rambled. Mark dropped the phone. I hung up and stared at Callie as the machine breathed for her. Her heart had stopped because the blood had stopped pumping so the oxygen to her brain had been cut off. It was rare, but she had lost a ton of blood. She had to have been unconscious at least ten minutes before I had found her. Derek came into the room.

"She's still in a coma." He observed. "Although I am getting some brain activity now." He said. Mark bolted into the room carrying a distraught Lucas. Lucas was ten months old now.

"Momma!" He exclaimed. Right then and there my heart melted. This poor kid had no dad and a mother who was having a lot of trouble getting over his father's death. In fact a mom who was on life support. Mark stroked his surprisingly long hair.

"Shh buddy. Momma's sleeping." Mark said bouncing Lucas. Lucas buried his head into Mark's chest. I sighed.

Callie's P.

_George picked me up and swung me around._

"_I cant believe you said yes!" George said excitedly._

"_Of course I did. I love you George." I said. George smiled. _

"_This is great." George said. I smiled. "Hey want to go have sex?" George asked. I grinned and kissed him._

"_Heck yeah." I said. George smiled and pulled off his shirt. I smiled and we went at it. _

I woke up and couldn't breathe. A tube was in my throat. I struggled to breathe. Meredith came running in.

"Callie, Callie calm down." She soothed. "You were in a coma we had to intibate you weren't breathing on your own. Let me see if Derek can come take the tube out okay?" She said. I closed my eyes and tried to calm down. A few minutes later Derek came in.

"Okay Torres. I want you to cough when I pull it out okay?" He said. I nodded. "Ready?" He asked and pulled. I coughed and couldn't breathe. I gasped for air. "Meredith get me an oxygen mask!" Derek yelled. Meredith got one and Derek pulled it on. "Callie calm down. Deep breaths." He said. I slowed my breathing. Mark's face appeared in the door. He was holding Lucas. He smiled and breathed a sigh of relief. Lucas giggled.

"Momma!" He said. I smiled.

"Hey Lukie." I said. My breath left a mark on my mask.

"Grey set her up with an oxygen tube." Derek said and left the room. Meredith set one up and left to give Mark and me some time to talk.

"Cal. I want you to see a therapist. This is unhealthy. You almost died." Mark said. I sighed and nodded.

"Okay." I agreed. Mark nodded.

"Just not the stupid hospital therapist. She's weird." I said. Mark smiled.

"We can do that." He said. I smiled. Mark squeezed my hand making my arm hurt.

"Ouch, Mark don't touch my arms or hands. It hurts." I said. Mark frowned.

"Cuts shouldn't hurt you that bad. Where does it hurt?" He asked.

"My forearm." I said.

"You don't have a cut their Cal. Lemme see." He said and gingerly examined my arm. "Cal I think your arm is broken." He said.

"Crap." I said.

"I'll go get Grey to come x-ray it." Mark said and walked out. Lucas was asleep in a chair. About an hour later Lexie came in with my results.

"It's fractured from where you fell on it." She explained. I nodded.

"So can you cast it and give me some Morphine?" I asked. Lexie nodded.

"Right sorry." She mumbled and started to cast it. "This is so weird, casting the orthopedic surgeon's arm." Lexie rambled.

"Grey." I warned. Lexie nodded.

"Right, I'm rambling sorry." Lexie said and finished off my cast. I smiled.

"That's actually a good job." I said looking it over. Lexie smiled. Mark came in with some food.

"Hey Cal I brought you a salad." He said and set a salad down in front of me. I smiled.

"Thanks Mark." I managed.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"I hate salad." I said. Mark laughed.

"It's good for you. Eat up!" Mark announced and bit into his burger. I rolled my eyes and took a bite.


	9. Chapter 9

One year later

I rolled over and snuggled in close to Mark. He smiled at me.

"Morning beautiful." He said. I smiled and kissed him. Lucas started crying and we pulled away. I sighed.

"I'll get him." I said and climbed out of bed. I pulled on my sweatpants and tshirt on. Lucas was having a fit trying to get out of his crib. I lifted him out and rested him on my hip. "Morning buddy. What sounds good for breakfast?" I asked. Lucas didn't say much because he was only a year and ten months.

"Watle." He said.

"Waffle? You want a waffle?" I asked. Lucas nodded and stuck his thumb in his mouth. "Okay bud, I think we can do that." I said and carried him out to the kitchen. I sat him down in his high chair. Mark came into the kitchen in his boxers. He ruffled Lucas's hair.

"Morning buddy." Mark said and went to the fridge.

"Dadda." Lucas giggled. I started cutting Lucas's waffle into little pieces. Mark wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my neck.

"I want to start trying again." Mark said.

"Mark. Not until he's older." I said.

"Okay how about in two months when he's two?" Mark asked.

"Two months." I agreed. Mark smiled.

"Fantastic." He said. I smiled and pulled away. Lucas stuck out his arms impatiently for the waffle. I sat it down in front of him and he started to eat it.

"Is it good?" I asked. Lucas nodded.

"Ye." He said. I smiled and ruffled his hair.

"Mark, watch him while I go put my scrubs on." I ordered. Mark nodded.

"Okay." He agreed. I went into my room and pulled my scrubs out of the closet. I pulled them on a put my hair into a ponytail. When I went back into the kitchen Lucas had thrown his waffle all over the room. He was giggling insanely and Mark was laughing right along with him.

"Seriously guys?" I asked angrily.

"Momma ma." Lucas said.

"Yes Lukie I am. Come on you need a bath mister. Mark clean this up." I said and lifted Lucas out of his chair. Mark smiled.

"Momma no! No bat." Lucas pleaded as I carried him into the bathroom.

"Sorry Lukie but you didn't get one yesterday." I said. Lucas crossed his arms and pouted. My stomach rippled with pain.

"No." He insisted.

"Yes." I said and started the water. Lucas sighed. Forty-five minutes later I walked into the hospital with Mark holding Lucas and my hand. Mark dropped Lucas off at day care and I went up to the surgical floor. Meredith was leaned against the nurse's station looking extremely tired.

"Good morning Dr. Grey. How are you this morning?" I asked and grabbed a chart from the nurse.

"Tired, exhausted, drained, sick. You?" Meredith asked. I laughed.

"I'm good. You look like it." I commented. Alex came up to me.

"Good morning Dr. Torres. What do we have today?" Alex asked.

"Four-point humeral fracture." I said and handed the him the chart.

"Cool." He mused and flipped through the chart. My stomach rippled with pain again. Meredith leaned over and threw up. It went all over my shoes.

"Dr. Grey. Come with me. Alex, round on my patients." I instructed and led Meredith off. I took some blood and sent it off to the lab.

"I'm really sorry about your shoes." She said while we were sitting in the exam room waiting for the results. I was cleaning them off.

"It's okay. Do you think by any chance you could be pregnant?" I asked.

"Maybe, Derek and I have sex every night." Meredith said. I nodded.

"Yeah, I think you're pregnant." I said. My pager went off. "Ah results are in." I mused. "I'll be right back." I said and went down to the lab.

"Meredith Grey?" The lab tech asked. I nodded and he handed it to me. I opened the results and looked them over. She was definitely pregnant. I walked into the exam room.

"What's the verdict?" She asked.

"Meredith, you're pregnant." I said. Meredith put her head in her hands.

"wow." She breathed.

"I'll page Addison." I said. Meredith nodded.

"thanks Callie." Meredith said. I smiled and slipped out of the exam room. My stomach rippled with pain and I collapsed.


	10. Chapter 10

Meredith's View

A few minutes after Callie left I left the exam room. When I opened the door I found Callie crumpled on the ground unconscious. I dropped down to the floor next to her. I checked her pulse. It was faint but there.

"Can I get some help over here?" I yelled. No one was in the area. "Dang it Callie. Come on don't do this to me. Lucas and Mark need you." I pleaded. "Somebody help me over here!" I yelled again. Nothing. I rolled Callie over on her back. Her eyes slowly opened and she sat up suddenly closing her eyes tightly in pain as she held her stomach. She gasped.

"Grey." She managed. I felt her forehead.

"Fever and abdominal pain. Callie can you get up?" I asked.

"No. It hurts." Callie said.

"Callie. I can't examine you on the floor." I insisted.

"Meredith I can't." Callie said. "Page someone to help you lift me. I can't do it Meredith. It hurts too much." Callie said. Meredith sighed and paged Derek. He came in two minutes later. He lifted me up and helped me into an exam room.

"Someone needs to tell Mark." Derek said.

"Well first someone needs to page Bailey." Meredith said and lifted up my scrub top. Derek nodded.

"I'll page her." Derek said and left.

"Your abdomen's swollen. Does it hurt more when I press here?" I asked and poked around Callie's pancreas. Callie bit her lip and nodded.

"Yes." She choked out.

"Callie I think you have Pancreatitis caused by gallstones. I need to run some tests but we need to take you up to the ICU." I told her.

"This sucks." Callie groaned. "Can I have Morphine?" Callie asked. Dr. Bailey came in.

"Morphine? Why is the ortho God asking for Morphine?" She asked.

"I suspect Pancreatitis caused by gallstones." I said. Dr. Bailey nodded and examined Callie.

"I agree. Run the tests and let me know. If it is schedule a surgery to remove the gallbladder and yes Dr. Torres you can have some Morphine." Bailey said. "Oh and Grey, get her up to the ICU to be monitored until we fix the problem." Bailey said.

"Gotcha." I said and took some blood. Then I gave Callie some Morphine. One of my interns helped me bring Callie up to the ICU. Once we had her on Morphine she fell asleep instantly.

Callie's View

When I woke up again never had I felt so awful in my entire life. I felt sick to my stomach and I was not at all hungry and I was so tired I just wanted to lay there and die. Mark was asleep in a chair. Meredith came in.

"Hey Callie. How do you feel?" She asked.

"Worse." I said. Meredith nodded.

"That's understandable. Callie it isn't Pancreatitis." Meredith said.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Liver failure. We cant figure out why it's failing either." Meredith said.

"So what do we do?" I asked.

"Well your symptoms aren't severe yet so we have a while but you need a transplant and you'll have to be in the hospital until you get one." Meredith said.

"You don't think it could be from when I drank a lot last year?" I asked.

"It could but it's unlikely and your eligible to go on the transplant list anyway." Meredith said.

"Morphine is my friend." I said. Meredith laughed.

"I second that." She said.

"Does Mark know?" I asked. Meredith nodded.

"He didn't take it well." She said.

"I didn't expect him too." I said. Meredith nodded. I sat up and threw up some blood.

"Oh that is not good." Meredith said and held a bed pan for me. "Somebody page Bailey!" Meredith yelled. Mark woke up.

"Callie? Meredith what's wrong?" He asked.

"Mark get out." Meredith ordered.

"No." He said firmly.

"Mark. Go get Lucas." I said. Mark sighed and left. Bailey came in.

"Meredith. Go get Callie some A positive blood." Bailey ordered. Meredith nodded and ran out of the room. "Callie you just can't stay out of the hospital can you?" She asked and set me up with oxygen.

"Guess not." I said and finally stopped throwing up.

"We need to get you a new liver and fast." Bailey said worriedly.

"Yeah, my vitals are tanking." I agreed. Meredith came in with some blood.

"Dr. Grey call the transplant board and give them an update." Dr. Bailey ordered Meredith and took the blood and hung it. Meredith nodded and left the room in a hurry. I sighed and tried my best to relax even if I was extremely tired I still couldn't sleep. I really needed a transplant fast.


	11. Hope in the Darkness

We were running out of time. They knew it, everyone knew it. No one wanted to accept it though. Mark hardly ever left my side and Lucas was staying with Addison and Pete. I sighed and shifted in my hospital bed. I was not doing well at all. Two weeks of being in the hospital and I was starting to cough up blood a lot more frequently than last week. Bailey was worried. She tried to hide it but I could see it in her eyes. She came in while Mark was in the cafeteria to check on me.

"Miranda, I see it in your eyes, I'm not going to make it am I?" I asked. Bailey sighed and sat down on the end of my bed.

"It doesn't look good. We've been transfusing blood for two days now but we can't hold you for that much longer. Your liver is continuing to deteriorate. You need a transplant within the next two weeks or you'll die." Bailey said.

"Fantastic. Does Mark know?" I asked. Bailey shook her head.

"I was going to tell him today." She told me.

"Don't. Don't let him know." I begged. Bailey nodded.

"Okay, I won't tell him." Bailey agreed.

"Thank you." I whispered and closed my eyes for a second. I was so tired. Bailey stood up.

"Why don't I let you get some sleep? You need it." Bailey said and left the room. I sighed and let sleep wash over me.

_ Lucas ran by kicking a soccer ball. He was about four now. Mark came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. He rested his hands on my baby bump and kissed my cheek._

"_Where's Whitney?" I asked._

_ "She's taking a nap. I didn't think a two year old would be so against naps. Lucas didn't start hating them until he was three." Mark said shaking his head._

_ "She's just mad because Lucas doesn't take them as often as she does." I said and leaned back to kiss Mark. He smiled and pulled away._

_ "So how are babies three and four?" Mark asked and rubbed my stomach._

_ "Active today." I told him. Mark nodded._

_ "Maybe you should sit down?" Mark suggested. _

_ "No I'm good." I said and pulled away from him. I went to the fridge and pulled out a Pepsi. I opened it and took a long drink._

_ "Did you find out the sexes at your last appointment?" Mark asked. I nodded._

_ "I did." _

_ "Are you going to tell me?" Mark asked. I shook my head._

_ "Nope." I said and disappeared into the bathroom. I passed a picture of me and George. I stopped and smiled. "It's two boys, Whitney's going to be so mad. I can't wait to see how Mark reacts when their born. Still wish you were here." I said._

I woke up in pain. Mark was watching TV. I sat up and coughed up blood. Mark's head snapped away from the TV to look at me. He grabbed a bed pan and held it for me while he rubbed my back. He paged Bailey who came running. She hung another bag of blood and decided to put me on oxygen.

"We need to start looking for blood matches. Callie you need to get ahold of any cousins, sisters, aunts, uncles, brothers. You're running out of time." Bailey said. I nodded and coughed up some more blood.

"Mark, call my dad." I said. Mark nodded and left the room.

"Callie you need to tell him." Bailey said as soon as Mark was gone.

"I can't tell him that." I said.

"Callie there's something you should know. We just noticed it today." Bailey began.

"What?" I asked.

"You're pregnant." Bailey said. I put my head in my hands.

"Oh no." I said and let the tears fall. Bailey sat down at the end of my bed.

"Callie look at me. They baby is going to be fine as long as we get you a new liver soon. Okay?" Bailey said. I nodded and whipped my eyes. Mark came back in.

"Hey, something wrong?" Mark asked.

"No." I said.

"Then why are you crying?" Mark asked.

"I'm pregnant and I only have two weeks to live unless I get a liver." I told him. Mark fell back into his chair and put his head in his hands.

"Oh my God." He breathed. Bailey got up and left. Addison came in carrying Lucas.

"Momma!" Lucas said and reached out to me. I smiled.

"Momma's really weak right now Lukie, you can't be on her." Addison explained.

"But I miss momma." Lucas whined and buried his face into Addison's shirt. "Auntie Aditon, when is momma gonna be otay agin?"Lucas asked.

"I don't know buddy." Addison told him. Pete came into the room.

"Addison can I talk to you?" I asked. Addison nodded and handed Lucas to Pete.

"Take him to get some ice cream from the cafeteria." Addison said. Pete nodded.

"Come on bud." Pete said and adjusted Lucas on his hip.

"Mark you should go to and spend some time with your son." I said. Mark nodded and kissed me on the cheek before leaving. Addison sat down on the bed next to me.

"What's up?" Addison asked.

"I don't have long to live. Bailey said I have maybe two weeks left if we don't find a liver." I told her. I tear slid down her cheek.

"You can't die, you're my best friend." Addison said and whipped the tear away quickly.

"There's more, they found out today when they took a routine blood sample that I'm pregnant." I told her. Addison sighed.

"We have to find you a liver. I'm going to go get tested right now." Addison said and stood up.

"Addison, that's a long shot." I told her. Addison nodded.

"I know but you have to live. So that you can grow old with Mark and raise Lucas and your new baby. Lucas has already lost his dad he can't lose his mom to." Addison said and left. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. I sat the bedpan on the table and laid down. I rolled on to my side and closed my eyes. I found myself falling asleep again.

_"Okay Callie, I need you to push." Addison said. I nodded and clenched my eyes shut. I gripped Mark's hand and pushed. _

_ "Oh my God! It hurts." I groaned._

_ "You're doing great Callie. Few more and the first baby will be here." Addison encouraged. _

_ "Then I have the other one." I said._

_ "You can do this." Mark encouraged. I sighed and pushed. Soon the first baby was out. _

_ "It's a boy congratulations." Addison announced. Mark grinned and cut the cord. Then she handed him to the nursery team to clean him up. "Okay Callie one more. On the next contraction I need you to push again." Addison instructed. _

_ "I can't do it anymore." I panted. Mark gripped my hand. _

_ "Yes, you can." He told me. "Come on, Whitney and Lucas are so excited to meet their siblings. You can do this." Mark said and kissed me. _

"Should we wake her?" Mark asked.

"No let her sleep. We'll tell her when she wakes up." Bailey said. I opened my eyes.

"Mark." I croaked. Mark stroked my cheek.

"Hey Cal. Sleep well?" Mark asked. I nodded and bit my lip.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"Callie I have some great news. Addison's a match." Bailey said.


	12. Looking to our Future

"No, no way. I'm not letting you do this Addison." I protested.

"I am an adult Callie." Addison argued. I sighed and rubbed my stomach. I nodded.

"Fine, but only because of the baby." I said. Addison nodded.

"Grey, take Addison to be prepped, I'll page Lexie to prep Callie." Bailey said and left the room. Mark took my hand as Meredith and Addison walked out of the room.

"It's going to be okay." Mark told me. I nodded.

"Yeah. You're right. I shouldn't be worried." I said. Mark smiled and kissed me. He rubbed my stomach.

"This one is mine." He remarked. I smiled.

"Yes, she is. I hope she looks just like you." I told him.

"She?" He asked. I nodded.

"She. I just have a feeling this is going to be your Daddy's little girl." I said and kissed him.

"I hope so." Mark said. I grinned. "If it's a girl we should name her Whitney." Mark mused.

"Why Whitney?" I asked.

"It's a beautiful name." Mark shrugged. "I just like the sound of it. Whitney Danielle Torres-Sloan." Mark said.

"Danielle?" I asked. Mark nodded.

"After this little girl I once knew." Mark said.

"How little?" I asked.

"Relax Callie. She was this little girl that I took care of on weekends. She made me want a little girl." Mark explained. I smiled and nodded.

"Okay, Whitney Danielle if it's a girl." I agreed. Mark smiled and kissed me. Lexie came into the room.

"Morning Dr. Torres, Dr. Sloan." Lexie acknowledged and started to prep me for surgery. Mark smiled and kissed my forehead.

"See you on the other side Cal." Mark said and left the room.

Ten hours later

I slowly opened my eyes. The white walls glared brightly in my vision. Slowly things came into focus. I looked around the room. Mark was fast asleep in a chair near my head. Lucas was laying across two chairs sound asleep at the foot of my bed. They had put me and Addison in a room together. She was fast asleep as well and Pete was asleep in a chair near her head. I was the only one awake. I sat there for a few minutes staring at the ceiling and thinking about things. I was pregnant and my best friend had just given me half of her liver. I didn't even know how many weeks pregnant I was, and my best friend was the best OB at Seattle Grace and it's not like she could tell me how far I was. She was bed ridden for a month while her liver regenerated! Addison coughed and I was pulled out of my thoughts. I glanced over at my best friend was blinking several times in an attempt to adjust to the light. She glanced at me and smiled.

"Hey Callie. How do you feel?" Addison asked.

"Like I just had a liver transplant." I joked. Addison's smile grew.

"Well you can crack a joke so you must not be too bad off." Addison said. I smiled.

"I'm actually really nauseas." I told her.

"That's probably just morning sickness. I can't believe you and Mark are married and are about to have two kids. That just blows my mind." Addison told me. I smiled.

"It blows mine too. But I still miss George." I told her. Addison nodded.

"I think everyone misses him a little bit. You more than others of course. How've you been with that by the way? Have you had any more dreams?" Addison asked. I nodded.

"I have like dreams about my future, and in like every single one of them I stop by this picture of me and George and tell him something important. Usually involving something to do with the baby." I confessed.

"The baby? Like the one you are pregnant with right now?" I asked. I nodded.

"I've seen her." I told Addison.

"Her?" Addison asked. I nodded.

"In these dreams it's a girl and we named her Whitney. Which is weird, because before the surgery when I told Mark I had a hunch that it was a girl, he said if I was right he wanted to name her Whitney Danielle." I said. Addison nodded.

"That's weird. Have you had any other dreams?" She asked. I nodded.

"Two years after Whitney I was pregnant with twins… and I did the same thing I was talking to George's picture about the fact that they were both boys." I said. Addison nodded slowly.

"I see. Gosh, you and Mark with four kids? That's hard to imagine." Addison said. I smiled and nodded.

"It is." I agreed.

"You haven't cut yourself lately have you?" Addison asked. I shook my head and ran my finger along the permanent scar in my arm from the cutting.

"Never again." I told her. Addison nodded.

"Good. You scared the crap out of everyone." Addison told me. I smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry." Was all I said. Addison smiled.

"It's okay." She assured me. Mark stirred and woke up. He smiled and came over to the bed when he saw me awake. He pushed a strand of hair behind my ear and kissed me gently when he pulled away he smiled.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Much better now." I said grinning. Mark smiled. Addison made a gagging noise. I rolled my eyes.

"Get a room." Addison teased.

"We are in a room." Mark joked.

Two days later

Mark found himself holding the bed pan in front of me again. The morning sickness was awful, and sometimes Bailey was worried if I threw up violently enough I'd rip my incision site open again. Addison and I had moved into separate private rooms. We had found out yesterday that I was five weeks pregnant, Lexie had run the ultrasound. After three minutes of throwing up disgusting hospital food I fell back into the pillows exhausted. Mark sat the bedpan down on the table and crawled into bed next to me. He wrapped his arms around me and held me. I smiled and fell asleep.

_ Lucas ran down the football field and kicked off the ball to start the game. He was ten years old now and kicker for his pard team. He was in 5__th__ grade. Whitney was eight years old and a cheerleader for Lucas's team. She was in 3__rd__ grade now and incredibly smart. Benjamin and Anthony were six and in the first grade. They were sitting next to me watching Lucas with intensity. Mark came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. He smiled and kissed my neck._

_ "Mark not in public." I hissed. He grinned and sat down next to me. _

_ "How's he doing?" Mark asked._

_ "Good, he kicked the ball way down into the end zone." I told him. _

_ "Awesome. How is baby number five?" Mark asked. I looked down and noticed that I was rather far along. Like I could give birth at any time._

_ "Good, she's been really active." I told him. Mark nodded._

_ "Active is good. I can't believe we're going to have five kids." Mark mused._

_ "Can this be the last one?" I asked. Mark laughed._

_ "If you want it to be." Mark said. I smiled._

_ "I think I do." I told him truthfully. He nodded._

_ "Okay then, last one." Mark agreed. I smiled._

_ "Maybe one more." I whispered. Mark grinned._

_ "Whatever makes you happy." Mark said and kissed me gently. I smiled._

_ "You make me happy." I told him. The whistle blew and Anthony tugged on my sleeve and I turned to face him._

_ "What's up bud?" I asked. _

_ "Mommy, Lucas isn't getting up." Anthony said and pointed to Lucas on the field. He was on his side unmoving. Mark got up and ran out onto the field. The team medics were surrounding him. Mark pushed his way through to get over to Lucas. Whitney ran over to me. Her brown pigtails swinging wildly as she ran._

_ "Mommy he's going to be okay right?" She asked worriedly._

_ "I hope so sweetie." I said. Mark was talking to Lucas now, and Lucas was nodding in response. Mark picked Lucas up bridal style and carried him over to the bench where the medics started to work on him. Mark came over to me._

_ "Is he okay?" I asked. Mark nodded._

_ "He twisted his knee when he went into the field goal. They think he tore his ACL. They want us to take him to the hospital." Mark told me. I nodded._

_ "Okay. Let's go. Come on guys." I said. Anthony and Benjamin hopped down off the bleachers. Whitney told her cheer coach where she was going and followed us. Mark picked Lucas up and carried him out to our car. I was buckling Anthony into his booster seat when a contraction hit. I gasped and put my hand on my belly bump._

_ "Mommy are you okay?" Anthony asked. I shook my head. Mark helped me sit down in my seat. _

_ "Callie what's wrong?" He asked. _

_ "I just had a contraction. I think I'm in labor." I told him._

_ "Crap." He breathed and pulled out his cell phone. "Addison! Hey, it's Mark. Callie thinks she just went into labor." Mark said. He nodded. "Yeah, we were actually on our way there. Lucas got hurt at the game and they think he tore his ACL." Mark explained. "Okay, we'll be there soon. Bye." Mark said and hung up._

_ "Mark what about Lucas? I need to be with him." I told him as he finished buckling Anthony. Then he climbed into the driver's side._

_ "Don't worry. I'll be with Lucas until we know what's wrong and then I'll come there to see our daughter be born okay?" Mark said and started to drive. I nodded._

_ "Okay." I said shakily._

_ "Hey relax, it's going to be okay. You've given birth to four kids, you can do this." Mark told me while we were stopped at a red light. I nodded and took a deep breath as another contraction hit. "How far apart are they?" He asked as the light turned green._

_ "Six minutes." I told him. Mark nodded and pulled into the hospital. Addison and Bailey were waiting outside for us. Addison had a wheelchair. Mark helped me into and the carried Lucas into the ER. Bailey took Whitney, Benjamin, and Anthony to go get ice cream. Addison took me up to a room and got me settled in. _

I woke up and found Mark was gone. Bailey was in the room checking my vitals.

"So what's the diagnosis? Is it working well?" I asked. Bailey smiled.

"It's working almost as perfectly as it can." She told me. I smiled.

"Good. Bailey, if I told you that Mark and I were going to have five kids what would you say?" I asked. Bailey smiled.

"I'd say that Mark really isn't a man whore." She joked. I smiled.

"I'm being serious."

"I'd say congratulations. I don't know how you've done it, but you've made Mark a one girl kind of guy. You've made him an amazing family man." Bailey told me.

"He had it in him all along." I told her. She smiled and left the room.


	13. Addison's News

Six weeks later

It was my first day back at work, and Addison's first day back. I had an ultrasound scheduled with her today. I was really nervous, I'm not sure why either. I mean I'd had a whole bunch of ultrasounds when I was pregnant with Lucas and I'd already had one with this pregnancy. Addison smiled when she saw me.

"Don't forget." She told me sternly. I smiled and nodded. Pete came up behind her and kissed her behind her ear she smiled and turned to face him. I smiled. He made her so happy. I turned around and came face to face with Mark. I grinned and accepted a kiss on the cheek.

"Morning beautiful. Glad to be back?" Mark asked. I smiled.

"Very. I can't wait to dive head first into a surgery." I told him he grinned.

"Take it easy, okay speedy?" he said. I smiled and nodded. Mark nodded satisfied.

"Don't forget the appointment." I told him as he started to walk off.

"At two. I know." He said and kept on walking. I grinned and grabbed my chart from the lady behind the desk. Meredith slid in next to me.

"Good morning Dr. Torres good to have you back." She said and walked in step with me.

"Thank you Dr. Grey it's good to be back. Let me guess Bailey put you on my service?" I asked. Meredith nodded. "Well she is chief resident." I said. Meredith nodded.

"Yeah, so anything interesting?" I asked. I shook my head.

"Sorry Grey. I'm supposed to take it easy for a few weeks, I just have a few knee replacements." I said. Meredith sighed.

"Great. All my intern's think I'm lame already." She said. I smiled.

"Sorry. Can't help you there." I said. Meredith rolled her eyes and turned to her Interns.

"Alright, Fisher you're with Sloan, Turner you're with Shepherd, Kelvin you're with Hahn, and Mason you're in the pit." Meredith ordered. Her interns left and Meredith turned back to me. "I hate interns." She muttered. I smiled.

"We were all that annoying at one time." I told her.

Six hours later

Addison smiled and squirted the gel onto my bump. She rubbed the wand around until she got a good look.

"Everything looks great. When you come back in in six weeks we should be able to see the sex." Addison told me and Mark. I smiled and nodded.

"Awesome." I said. Mark nodded and kissed my cheek. Addison handed me a paper towel to clean off and Mark left. Addison sat down in a chair next to me. She looked sad. "Addison what's wrong?" I asked.

"Pete and I are over and he's moving back to LA." Addison told me.

"Oh my gosh. Addie what happened?" I asked.

"I guess he just fell out of love with me." Addison said. I got off the exam table and wrapped my arms around Addison. I held my best friend while she cried.

"It's going to be okay Addie. You don't need him. One day you will find someone who loves you and needs you. You deserve better." I told her. Addison nodded and pulled away. She whipped her eyes and I helped her to her feet. I smiled encouragingly and led her out of the exam room. I met Meredith on the ortho floor and got back to work.

Two weeks later

I woke up with Mark's arms around me, they were resting on my stomach. I smiled and took in a deep breath of his scent. Today marked exactly a month until Lucas turned two, and it was also my thirteenth week of pregnancy. I groaned as the morning sickness hit me. I pulled away from Mark and ran into the bathroom. I began to throw up. After a minute or so I felt Mark's hand rubbing circles on my back while I threw up.

"Callie the morning sickness should have ended last week." He said sadly. I leaned back against him.

"Well it didn't." I told him sadly. He pushed my bangs out of my eyes. His hand felt extremely cold on my skin.

"Callie, I don't think this is morning sickness. I think you have a fever." Mark told me.

"That's absurd. I do not." I told him. Mark felt my forehead again.

"I think you do. Just let me check okay?" Mark begged. I sighed and nodded. Mark got up and grabbed the thermometer from the cupboard. He stuck in my mouth and waited for it beep. He pulled it out and looked at it.

"I was right. 102.5. That's kind of high." Mark said worriedly and pulled out his phone.

"Who are you calling?" I asked.

"Addison." Mark said.

"No don't Mark, I am fine." I said. I groaned as another wave of nausea hit and I threw up several more times. Mark rubbed my back and held my hair.

"You are not fine. I'm calling Addison." He said sternly after I had finished throwing up. I sighed.

"Fine." I groaned and curled up in a ball on the floor. The cold tile felt extremely good on my burning skin.

"Hey Addison, It's mark. I'm calling about Callie, she's running a fever of 102.5." Mark told Addison over the phone. "Well right now she's laying on the bathroom floor." He said. I heard Addison laugh and I glared. "Okay, I'll get Lucas ready and take him into work with me. You'll be right over?" Mark clarified. He nodded and hung up.

"she's coming here?" I asked from my position on the floor. Mark nodded and lifted me up off the floor. He carried me to our bed and tucked me in. He kissed me on the forehead.

"I'll see you after work. Feel better Cal." He said and left our room. I sighed and tried to fall asleep but I was hot and miserable. Addison came into my room at least ten minutes later. She smiled and sat down on the end of my bed.

"Hey Cal. How are you feeling?" Addison asked.

"Sucky." I told her. Addison nodded.

"Have you eaten anything?" Addison asked. I shook my head.

"I threw up everything from yesterday this morning." I told her. Addison nodded.

"Well you need to eat or the baby won't get any nutrients. If you don't start to keep things down I'm going to seriously consider checking you into the hospital for fluids." Addison said. I groaned.

"I hate IV's." I said. Addison laughed.

"You seem to need them a lot though." Addison said. Her phone rang and she answered.

"This is Dr. Montgomery speaking." She said. She giggled. "Okay, it's a date. Bye Alex." She said and hung up.

"Alex? As in Alex Karev?" I asked. Addison nodded.

"Yeah, we had sex a few nights ago and we've been dating ever since." Addison told me.

"Addie! And you never told me?" I asked shocked. Addison shrugged.

"Just escaped my mind. Come on, you need to eat. I'll make you some chicken noodle soup." Addison suggested.

"No. No soup. Just some saltine crackers." I begged.

"Fine, and some sprite." Addison said and left the room. I groaned. I pulled the covers up tighter. I was freezing all of the sudden. I was shaking I was so cold. Addison came in with the crackers and sprite she sat them down on the nightstand and came to my side.

"Callie I think your fever spiked." Addison said. I moaned softly and buried myself deeper into the covers. I drew my knees up to my chest and huddled into a ball. Addison sighed and went to get the thermometer. She checked my temperature. "Holy crap Callie. I know you hate IV's but we need to get you to the hospital." Addison said and helped me out of bed. She helped me out to the car. When we got to the hospital she checked me into the maternity ward to be on fluids. Mark came and sat with me whenever he wasn't working.

Four weeks later

I met Addison at the nurse's station she looked sick.

"Hey you okay?" I asked.

"No. Callie, I'm pregnant." Addison told me.

"You're what?" I asked.

"You heard me." Addison said.

"Who's baby?" I asked.

"Alex." She whispered.

"Does he know?" I asked. Addison shook her head.

"I can't tell him." She said.

"He's going to find out eventually." I told her. She sighed.

"I know, I just can't bring myself to tell him yet." She said.

"How far are you?" I asked.

"Five weeks. That first time we had sex I got pregnant. You know before we started officially dating." Addison explained. I nodded and rubbed my own belly bump. Mine was quite visible now.

"You really need to tell him Addie." I said as we started walking to the conference room. Derek had brought in a whole bunch of food for the Attendings today. It was some special occasion but I couldn't remember what it was. All I knew was that there was food and I was hungry.

"I know, I will eventually. So I noticed your appointment in two weeks was on Lucas's birthday. Do you need to reschedule?" Addison asked changing the subject.

"Nope. I'm going to do my appointment and then go home and set up for his party. You are still coming right?" I asked. Addison nodded as we walked into the conference room.

"Of course I am? Who would want to miss Lucas turn two? Gosh, I can't believe he's two already. That means I've been living in Seattle for five months." Addison said. I smiled.

"Has it been five months already?" I asked. Addison nodded and poured herself a cup of coffee. Addison's pager went off at the same time as mine. We both checked them.

"Arizona needs us." Addison said glancing at hers. I sighed and poured myself a cup of coffee too before following Addison up to the Peds floor.


	14. The Day of Pain

Arizona was leaned against the nurse's station on the Peds floor waiting for us. She stood up when we approached the desk.

"Hey. I have a patient that I need a consult on." She told me. I nodded and followed her to a room. Addison followed us. In the middle of my consult all three of our pagers went off. Addison and Arizona checked theirs. After the consult they pulled me aside.

"There is a shooter in the hospital." Arizona whispered. My heart stopped.

"What?" I asked.

"There is a shooter running around and we're on lockdown." Addison told me.

"We should move all of the kids into the playroom so we can keep them safe." I suggested. Arizona nodded.

"Good idea." She said. After we gathered everyone together I plopped down in a chair by the nurse's station.

"Callie are you okay?" Addison asked. I nodded and rubbed my stomach.

"Just worried and exhausted." I told her. Addison nodded.

"Do you need to lay down?" She asked. I shook my head.

"I don't need to lay down, I'm good." I told her. Addison sighed and nodded.

"If you're sure." She said accepting defeat. A resident pushed a gurney with a young girl on it down the hallway.

"Dr. Robbins." The resident said.

"What's wrong?" Arizona asked.

"She's in a lot of pain. I'm afraid her Appendix might have blown." The resident said quietly so the girl wouldn't hear her.

"Run an ultrasound." Arizona instructed and pushed the girl's gurney up against the hallway wall. The resident nodded and went to go get the portable ultrasound machine. I stood up and went over to the little girl. She was crying about the pain. The resident ran the ultrasound. She nodded to Arizona meaning that her Appendix had blown. Arizona sighed and nodded in understanding. She pulled some gloves on and got out a syringe of morphine.

"Okay now, I'm going to give you a shot to make it not hurt as much okay?" Arizona asked. The little girl nodded slowly.

"I'll call 911 and tell them." Addison said and picked up the phone. Addison had just hung up when Mr. Clark walked into the Peds unit with his gun drawn. Arizona leaned over the girl in an attempt to protect her. Addison stood frozen. I slowly stood. Mr. Clark's wife was a former patient who Derek had taken off life support without Mr. Clark's consent because she had filled a DNR. Mr. Clark tried to sue but failed. His shoulder was heavily bleeding.

"There are only children on this floor." I said my voice cracking.

"They shot me." Mr. Clark said shakily. I made a slow movement to get a bandage for him and he pulled the trigger. It hit my arm and I felt the bones shatter it went through the side of my arm and stuck into my side. It was lodged into one of my ribs. I gasped at the pain and fell to the floor. Mr. Clark gasped.

"Oh my God. You're pregnant, what have I done?" He cried and ran out of the room. Addison plopped down next to me on the floor. I couldn't breathe.

"Ad-Ad-Ad-Addison." I breathed.

"Callie calm down everything is going to be okay." Addison assured me. Arizona knelt down next to me as well.

"Addison the baby." Arizona said.

"I know, I know. This is bad. Arizona call 911." Addison told her and started doing everything she could think of with what she could find. I screamed when she opened the wound more to get a better look. "Callie shh, calm down." Addison said and stroked my hair. I was in unbelievable pain. It was like nothing I had ever imagined. Arizona knelt back down next to us.

"The operator said the SWAT team would be on our floor soon." Arizona reported. Things were started to fade.

"She's loosing too much blood." Addison said.

"Addie." I said weakly. Addison took my hand.

"Yeah Cal?" She asked.

"Tell, tell Mark and Lucas that I love them." I began.

"No Callie you are not dying today!" Addison said cutting me off.

"Addison listen please, don't let Mark fall into despair because of this okay? Don't let what happened to me happen to him. Help him with Lucas. Tell him I'm sorry and that I love him." I said and my grip on Addison's hand loosened a bit.

"Shh, Callie save your strength. You are not dying today. I smiled and shook my head.

"No Addison, I am dying." I said and my eyes slid closed just as the SWAT team busted into the wing.

_"Lucas George Sloan-Torres." The assistant principal called. Lucas walked across the field and accepted his diploma from the Principal. He shook hands with the administration and walked back to his seat. I smiled and kissed Mark._

_ "He did it." I said beaming. Mark smiled. _

_ "Who would have thought? Our son would be going to college on a soccer scholarship and graduating second in his class?" Mark asked. Whitney grinned._

_ "Goob did it." She agreed. I smiled and pushed a strand of her bangs out of her eye. She pulled away._

_ "Ugh, mom. Stop it." She said and fixed her hair. I rolled my eyes. I remembered being a Sophomore like her all too well. I had almost forgotten that she was too old for her mom to fix her hair. Benjamin, Anthony, Kimberly, and Becky sat in front of us. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that Ben and Tony were going to be Freshman next year and Whitney would be a Junior. Worst of all Lucas was going to be a Freshman in College. Well technically because of all of the college classes he had taken in high school he was going to be a Sophomore. Kimberly was going to be in 3__rd__ grade and my baby girl Becky was going to be in Kindergarten. They finished calling out names and the class of 2026 threw their caps into the air. I smiled and a tear slid down my cheek. Lucas had done it. He had graduated from the best years of his life, and he was going out into the real world. We met Lucas down on the field. He smiled and wrapped me in a hug._

_ "I love you mom, thank you for always supporting me." He said and pulled away. I smiled and whipped away a tear. Whitney pulled out her iPhone. _

_ "Smile you two." She said. Lucas smiled and put his arm around my shoulders. Lucas picked up a giggling Becky and put her on his shoulders. Whitney handed her iPhone to her friend and we all got a group picture. _

_ "So Whit, only two more years." Lucas said as we walked out to the cars._

_ "I know, but I still wish I had graduated this year." Whitney said. I smiled._

_ "Don't wish your life away Whit Whit." Mark said. Whitney sighed._

_ "It's so tempting." She said. Mark laughed._

I woke up in a hospital room hooked up to monitors galore and oxygen tube in my nose. I was overjoyed to look and see a fetal monitor. It meant that the baby was still alive. Mark was fast asleep in a position that could not be comfortable. I guessed that Lucas was with Addison because he wasn't in the room. I coughed and my side stung with pain. I glanced down at my arm to find it casted from my fingers all the way up to almost my shoulder. I groaned and ran my other hand along my cast. Bailey and Addison came in.

"Callie, it's good to see you awake." Bailey said. I nodded.

"Good to be awake. Addison how is the baby?" I asked.

"Good." Addison told me. I smiled.

"Thank God." I said. Addison smiled.

"What about my arm? Will I ever be able to operate again?" I asked.

"You should gain full function back and be able to operate as well." Bailey told me happily. I smiled.

"Oh thank God. What about the hospital. How many people were shot?" I asked. Bailey glanced at Addison.

"Derek was shot and Cristina had to do open heart surgery to save him, Owen took a bullet to the shoulder but is fine, Reed took a bullet to the head and died instantly, Karev was shot in the side but he is stable and in recovery, Charles was shot in the abdomen and I couldn't save him. And several other doctors were killed or injured." Bailey said her voice cracking when she mentioned Charles and Reed.

"Oh my God." I said. Addison sat down on the end of my bed.

"The important thing right now is that you take care of yourself and your baby and don't stress okay? We almost lost you and the baby so you need to take it easy." Addison told me. I nodded and took a deep breath. Mark shifted in his sleep and Addison stood back up.

"We'll leave you to get some rest. You need it." Bailey said and left the room. Addison followed close behind. I shifted into the most comfortable position I could manage and drifted off to sleep.


	15. Not the Best of Dreams

_"Callie!" Mark called. I whimpered and tried to push the debris of me. _

_ "Mark!" I called out desperately. My right leg was pinned under a huge piece of metal, it had fallen right on my knee. I squirmed and the pain in my knee intensified. _

_ "Mom!" Whitney yelled. I tried my best to wiggle free, but it was no use._

_ "Whitney! Mark!" I yelled again. I glanced to my left and saw Becky curled up in a ball not moving. "Becky!" I yelled but she made no movement. _

_ "Mom! Dad!" Lucas yelled. Then Lucas was there pulling the metal off of my leg. He helped me sit up and looked me over. He noticed Becky out of the corner of his eye._

_ "Is she breathing?" I asked. Lucas nodded._

_ "She has a faint pulse." Lucas told me. Benjamin came stumbling out between some trees. He was holding his arm and I could tell it was heavily bleeding and barely hanging on. _

_ "Callie!" I heard Mark yell again._

_ "Dad over here!" Benjamin yelled and collapsed onto the ground next to me. I looked over his arm. A piece of metal had lodged itself deep into the muscle and was almost to his bone. Mark ran into the clearing where we were. I tore a piece of my jacket off the sleeve and tied it around Benjamin's arm to stabilize it. Mark knelt down next to Becky._

_ "Come on baby girl." He said as the tears escaped his eyes._

_ "Ben where's Tony?" Lucas asked. _

_ "I don't know. I couldn't find him." Benjamin said. Lucas glanced around._

_ "Where's Whitney?" He asked._

_ "I heard her calling a minute ago." I said._

_ "Whitney! Tony!" Lucas yelled. I sighed and reached in my pocket for my cell phone. I was relieved to find I had service. I dialed Kimberly's number. She answered on the second ring._

_ "Mom where are you guys? You were supposed to be here an hour ago." Kimberly said. _

_ "The car flipped over and tumbled down into a ravine Kimberly." I told her calmly._

_ "What! Oh my God. Oh my God. Where are you guys?" Kimberly asked. I could tell she was panicking. _

_ "Kim calm down sweetie. Don't you dare have another panic attack a stop breathing on me. Now I need you to take a deep breath. Everything is going to be all right. Now I want you to call Dr. Grey and tell her what's going on and that we are by exit 29. Tell her that at least three of us have sustained extreme injuries. Okay? Can you do that?" I asked. Kimberly nodded._

_ "Okay." She replied shakily._

_ "Good girl. Now everything is going to be alright okay?" I asked. Kimberly took a deep breath._

_ "Okay. I love you mommy." She whispered. I smiled._

_ "I love you too baby. See you real soon. Bye." I said and hung up. Lucas ran his hand through his hair._

_ "I'm going to go look for Whitney and Tony." Lucas said. I nodded._

_ "Be safe." Mark warned. Lucas nodded and walked off. _

I woke up sweating. That was an awful dream. I was really starting to hate these little dreams. Mark was gone now and the hospital room felt really empty. My side felt a lot better though and I wondered how long I had been asleep. Addison came in. She smiled when she saw me awake.

"Hey Callie. I was coming to check on the baby, but since you're awake I'll do an ultrasound while I'm here." Addison said. I smiled.

"That'll be awesome thanks. Can you page Mark first though?" I asked. Addison smiled and nodded.

"Of course." She said and pulled out her blackberry. Addison ran a checkup while we waited for Mark to come in. He came in carrying Lucas. He sat Lucas down in a chair and came to stand by me. He took my hand while Addison squirted the gel onto my stomach she moved the radar around until she got a good luck at the baby. "Everything looks great. Do you want to know the sex?" She asked. I looked at Mark and he nodded.

"Yes, we do." I told Addison. She smiled and nodded.

"Well it looks like you're having a girl congratulations." Addison said and whipped the gel off my stomach with a paper towel. Mark grinned. Addison smiled and left the room.

"You were right." Mark said after Addison was gone.

"Mother's instinct I guess." I told him. Mark smiled.

"So Whitney Danielle Sloan-Torres?" Mark asked. I smiled and kissed him.

"That sounds perfect." I agreed. Mark smiled.

"I can't wait. I hope she looks like you." Mark told me.

"No, I hope she has your eyes and nose." I told him. Mark grinned.

"My nose is pretty awesome." Mark agreed. I smiled. Addison came in carrying Lucas.

"Auntie Aditon why is momma altays in da hospidal?" Lucas asked.

"You're mom is really good at getting sick." Addison told him and shifted him from one hip to the other.

"Dadda!" Lucas exclaimed and held out his arms for Mark. Mark grinned and took him. He ruffled his hair.

"Sup buddy?" Mark asked.

"Auntie Aditon got me ice cweam." Lucas said proudly. I glared at Addison.

"You spoil him rotten much more Addison and he'll start calling you momma." I warned. Addison shrugged.

"I can't help it. He's just so cute." Addison said. I grinned.

"He is a cutie." I agreed.

"Momma, is you hur cause of my baby sidter?" Lucas asked. I laughed.

"No Lukie, she's no where near ready to meet you." I told Lucas. Crossed his arms and stuck out his bottom lip.

"When she gonna come?" He asked.

"It'll be a while bud." I told him. Lucas sighed.

"Is you gonna be out of da hospidal by my bwirfday?" Lucas asked. I shrugged.

"I don't know bud, it just depends. Don't worry, your birthday is still going to be awesome no matter what okay?" I asked. Lucas nodded.

"Otay, I luff you momma." Lucas said. I smiled.

"I love you too." I told him and yawned. Addison took Lucas from Mark.

"Why don't we let momma get some rest while we go to the park. How's that sound?" Addison asked. Lucas nodded.

"Sound good." He agreed. I smiled and waved goodbye. Addison left carrying Lucas. Mark planted a kiss on my cheek.

"I'm going to go get some coffee. Get some rest." Mark said and left. I sighed and got into a comfortable position. I stared at the ceiling for a while before I fell asleep.

_I walked into the hospital and went right to a surgery on a guys back, and let me tell you it felt great to be back. Then I had to go and reset a guys arm. I was in the zone until about surgery five. I started feeling dizzy. The room went back and forth. I started sweating._

_"Suction." I said. An intern gave me suction. The room rocked back and forth again. I felt like I couldn't breathe._

_"Dr. Torres?" The intern asked. I blinked trying to get the room to stop moving._

_"Dr. Torres?" Bailey asked walking in the room. Then I remember passing out. I woke up as they were lifting me onto a stretcher. Bailey was barking orders to interns. The room was still moving._

_"Callie, Callie can you hear me?" Bailey asked. I blinked. There was two of her. Which one did I look at? Things started fading._

_"We're loosing her!" Lexie yelled. Then blackness. I woke up in another hospital room._

_"What happened this time?" I asked Addison._

_"You were internally bleeding. Where we stitched your stomach it tore a little bit." Addison said. I sighed._

_"Great." I said._

_"We fixed it." Addison said._

_"How long do I have to stay here this time?" I asked._

_"Just a few days." Addison said. I stared up at the ceiling. This was just my luck. George ran in._

_"Oh my God, thank God you're awake. I don't know what I would do without you." George said. Addison smiled, then she left. I laid my head down on the pillow. A pain hit my stomach._

_"Ouch!" I said. George went on alert._

_"What's wrong?" He asked._

_"Nothing." I said. George nodded._

_"If you say so, just don't go down again." George said taking my hand. I smiled and squeezed his hand. He kissed me on the lips._

_"I love you." I said. The dream faded and a new one surfaced._

_Two hours passed and my labor was unbearable. Addison was worried about me because I was determined to wait until George was there._

_"Callie you have to push." Addison said. Izzie stood in the corner with her arms crossed. Izzie was one month pregnant with Alex's baby._

_"I won't do this without George." I said firmly._

_"Alright then we'll do an emergency c-section, because if we don't get him out soon, you are going to loose him. Do you understand me?" Addison said sternly. I sighed._

_"Fine." I muttered. Addison smiled triumphantly, she had won for now._

_"Okay, Izzie, get a team in here. Ready Callie?" Addison asked and Izzie ran out. I nodded and bit my lip._

_"Sure." I muttered._

_"Okay. On the count of three I need you to push. Okay?" She asked. I nodded. After about five minutes he was born. He cried for a few seconds and then grew silent. Izzie and Addison rushed him away and I couldn't help but lay there and cry. I was all alone. Where the hell was George? I know he had went home to tell his mom he'd joined the Army but he should have dropped everything and come to me. Sometimes he could be such a douche. Meredith came in my room. She noticed Addison wasn't there and immediately ran off down the hall. Ten minutes later Addison came in._

_"Hey, how is he?" I asked._

_"He's great." She said._

_"Then what's wrong?" I asked. It felt as though a cloud of despair surrounded Addison._

_"Callie, George is dead." Addison said. I stared at her in disbelief._

_"What?" I asked._

_"He was the John Doe. They did everything the could, but he's brain dead. Chief wants to know if he's a donor." Addison said. I couldn't speak, I couldn't breathe. It was like the world had stopped. My George, my George was gone. He died on the day our boy was born. My George was gone. He was gone and I was never going to feel his arms around me again. Never feel his breath on my neck. Never feel like warmness of his touch. My world started to go black and I was gasping for air._

_"Callie! Callie calm down." Addison yelled pulling an oxygen mask on me. My world faded into nothing. It faded into blackness._

I woke up to Mark stroking my hair and looking at me worriedly.

"Callie are you okay? You were tossing and turning. I was worried you might rip your stitches." Mark said. I nodded.

"Yeah, it was just a bad dream." I said shrugging. Mark nodded.

"Okay, go back to sleep." He said kissing my forehead. I nodded and closed my eyes.


	16. Turning Two and Facing Fears

One week later

Lucas's birthday

"Momma! Wake up! It's my bwirfday!" Lucas said.

"Lucas calm down, momma's still weak and needs lots of rest. How bout I make you some breakfast?" Mark suggested and got out of bed. Lucas nodded and followed Mark out of the room. I groaned and pulled the covers in closer. I had only been discharged two days ago and I was supposed to stay in bed for at least another day. Meaning I was bedridden for Lucas's second birthday and he was not happy with the fact that we couldn't go anywhere. I closed my eyes and found myself drifting back to sleep. When I woke up Mark was standing in the doorway holding a tray of breakfast and staring at me.

"Were you watching me sleep again?" I asked yawning. Mark smiled.

"Maybe." He smirked and brought the tray over to me. I slowly pushed myself into a sitting position.

"You know some people would call that stalkerish." I said as he sat the tray down in front of me.

"Well then I guess I'm your stalker." Mark said and kissed me on the cheek. I smiled.

"Well then you're a very sexy stalker." I said and kissed him on the lips.

"Why thank you." He smirked.

"Where's Lucas?" I asked.

"He is with Addison." Mark said.

"When did Addison get him?" I asked.

"About twenty minutes ago. She took him to the store." Mark said. I nodded and took a bite of the grapefruit.

"Well I must say you can sure prepare a grapefruit." I joked. Mark rolled his eyes.

"I can make things too." He huffed. I smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

"I know you can." I told him and took another bite.

"So how are you feeling today?" Mark asked.

"My side still hurts, but I have a bit more energy today." I told him. Mark nodded.

"That's good. Means you're getting stronger." Mark said.

"Really? I thought I was getting weaker." I said sarcastically and took another bite. Mark rolled his eyes.

"You can deteriorate you know." Mark said. I smiled.

"I know but I'm not am I?" I said and finished off the grapefruit.

Three hours later

Addison, Alex, and Mark sat around the bed in chairs. Lucas's cake was set up on a tray on the floor and the presents were around it. This way I could still be in bed and not miss the action. Lucas was laying on the floor on his stomach in front of his cake.

"Daddy light candles now?" Lucas asked Mark, Mark chuckled and nodded.

"Sure bud." He said and lit the candles. Addison, Alex, and Mark sang him happy birthday and he blew out the candles.

"Good job bud. Look who's two!" I said smiling. I was so proud of my little boy. I kind of wished George was here, but I was incredibly happy with Mark and he was a great daddy. I couldn't wait to raise Whitney with him. Mark climbed up on the bed to sit with me while we watched Lucas open his presents. He wrapped his arms around me and I leaned in close. He kissed me on the cheek. I smiled at him and went back to watching Lucas open his presents. Each time he opened a present a look of joy spread over his face. It was the most adorable and rewarding thing ever.

"I think we're doing something right." Mark whispered in my ear. I smiled and nodded never taking my eyes off Lucas. Mark bent down and gently kissed my bump.

Five weeks later

I woke up to the smell of bacon. I grinned and rolled out of bed. I'd been back at work for three weeks now. I felt great. I was twenty four weeks pregnant by now and Whitney was shaping up to be a very active baby. She had daily soccer matches. Or at least that's what we joked it was. Lucas was anxious to meet her and kept asking when he could meet her. Mark read to the baby every night. It was sweet and most of the time I pretended to be asleep. He got much more into it when I was asleep. I wandered into the kitchen and found Lucas in his high chair eating pancakes. Mark was sitting at the table reading the newspaper with a glass of orange juice and a plate of bacon and eggs.

"Momma!" Lucas pointed. I waved.

"Hey buddy." I said and ruffled his hair on my way to the fridge. Mark had left a plate of bacon and eggs out for me. He smiled from the table. I smiled back and poured myself a glass of grapefruit juice. For some reason everything grapefruit flavored tasted amazing when I was pregnant with Whitney. I grabbed my plate and glass of juice and went to sit down across from Mark. We dropped Lucas off at daycare a few hours later. I went up to round on some patients and Mark went to a board meeting. I was enjoying a snack a few hours later when I got a page from Addison. I found her in the supply closet on the surgical floor.

"Addison are you okay?" I asked getting down on the floor next to her. She shook her head and a tear slipped down her cheek. "Hey, hey what's wrong?" I asked and pulled her into a hug.

"Alex." She choked out.

"What'd he do?" I asked ready to go all ninja on his ass.

"He… he asked me to marry him." She said.

"Addie that's a good thing. Why are you crying?" I asked.

"What if it's just because of the baby?" She asked. I shook my head and pulled her in closer.

"Addison I promise he is not just marrying you because of the baby. Alex loves you. I know it, and if he doesn't I'll kick his ass okay?" I told her. Addison smiled and whipped her eyes.

"Okay." She agreed shakily. I smiled and stood up. I offered her my hand.

"Come on, we need to go kick some surgical ass and save some lives." I joked. Addison smiled and took my hand. I pulled her up and we walked out into the busy hallway. I waved and headed off toward the ER.


End file.
